If I Only Had A...Husband (The Bridal Circle #1) Read online

  Brad knew he should leave, but he couldn’t.

  Letter to Reader

  Title Page

  Dedication

  Books by Andrea Edwards

  About the Author

  Penny’s Journal

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Epilogue

  Teaser chapter

  Copyright

  Brad knew he should leave, but he couldn’t.

  What was happening to him? He couldn’t seem to be near Penny without his heart wanting to explode. Without his hands wanting to touch her and his lips needing to taste her. He seemed to lose all sense when she smiled at him. He had no willpower, no strength around her at all.

  He would change. He would take himself in hand and control all those urges. Maybe it wouldn’t be easy, but it was possible.

  And absolutely necessary.

  Don’t miss a single enchanting book in

  Andrea Edwards’s brand-new Special Edition

  miniseries, THE BRIDAL CIRCLE, about

  small-town beauties finding all the things they

  cherish—friendship, family, love...and marriage!

  If I Only Had a... Husband 5/99

  Secret Agent Groom 8/99

  Pregnant and Practically Married 11/99

  Dear Reader,

  This month, Silhouette Special Edition presents an exciting selection of stories about forever love, fanciful weddings—and the warm bonds of family.

  Langtime author Gina Wilkins returns to Special Edition with Her Very Own Family, which is part of her FAMILY FOUND: SONS & DAUGHTERS series. The Walker and D’Alessandro clans first captivated readers when they were introduced in the author’s original Special Edition series, FAMILY FOUND. In this new story, THAT SPECIAL WOMAN! Brynn Larkin’s life is about to change when she finds herself being wooed by a dropdead gorgeous surgeon....

  The heroines in these next three books are destined for happiness—or are they? First, Susan Mallery concludes her enchanting series duct, BRIDES OF BRADLEY HOUSE, with a story about a hometown nanny who becomes infatuated with her very own Dream Groom. Then the rocky road to love continues with The Long Way Home by RITA Award-winning author Cheryl Reavis—a poignant tale about a street-smart gal who finds acceptance where she least expects it. And you won’t want to miss the passionate reunion romance in If I Only Had a... Husband by Andrea Edwards. This book launches the fun-filled new series, THE BRIDAL CIRCLE, about four long-term friends who discover there’s no place like home—to find romance!

  Rounding off the month, we have Accidental Parents by Jane Toombs—an emotional story about an orphan who draws his new parents together. And a no-strings-attached arrangement goes awry when a newlywed couple becomes truly smitten in Their Marriage Contract by Val Daniels.

  I hope you enjoy all our selections this month!

  Sincerely,

  Karen Taylor Richman

  Senior Editor

  Please address questions and book requests to:

  Silhouette Reader Service

  U.S.: 3010 Walden Ave., P.O. Box 1325, Buffalo, NY 14269

  Canadian: P.O. Box 609, Fort Erie, Ont. L2A 5X3

  ANDREA EDWARDS

  IF I ONLY HAD A...HUSBAND

  to ld, thank you for your grace, your courage

  and your humor.

  you are an inspiration.

  Books by Andrea Edwards

  Silhouette Special Edition

  Rose in Bloom #363

  Say It With Flowers #428

  Ghost of a Chance #490

  Violets Are Blue #550

  Places in the Heart #591

  Make Room for Daddy #618

  Home Court Advantage #706

  Sweet Knight Tunes #740

  Father: Unknown #770

  Man of the Family #809

  The Magic of Christmas #856

  Just Hold On Tight! #883

  *A Ring and a Promise #932

  *A Rose and a Wedding Vow #944

  *A Secret and a Bridal Pledge #956

  Kisses and Kids #981

  †On Mother’s Day #1029

  †A Father’s Gift #1046

  †One Big Happy Family #1064

  Christmas Magic #1144

  ‡The Paternity Question #1175

  ‡Who Will She Wed? #1181

  ^If I Only Had a... Husband #1246

  Silhouette Intimate Moments

  Above Suspicion #291

  Silhouette Desire

  Starting Over #645

  *This Time, Forever

  †Great Expectations

  ‡Double Wedding

  ^The Bridal Circle

  ANDREA EDWARDS

  is the pseudonym of Anne and Ed Kolaczyk, a husband-and-wife writing team who have been telling their stories for more than fifteen years. Anne is a former elementary school teacher, while Ed is a refugee from corporate America. After many years in the Chicago area, they now live in a small town in northern Indiana where they are avid students of local history, family legends and ethnic myths. Recently they have both been bitten by the gardening bug, but only time will tell how serious the affliction is. Their four children are grown, but remaining at home with Anne and Ed are two dogs, four cats and one bird—not the same ones that first walked through their stories but carrying on the same tradition of chaotic rule of the household nonetheless.

  Penny’s Journal

  Dear Diary,

  I wad cleaning out a corner of the barn today and you’ll never guess what I found—the secret box from our girlhood club, The Bridal Circle.

  Boy, did the contents take me back! The picture of the “perfect” wedding dress I drew. Even the menu for my dream reception under a huge tent at the family tree farm. And the results of that silly personality quiz we took about our future husbands. I remember being so excited because it said I would marry a smart man! So, of course, I had to make up some stationery proclaiming me Mrs. Brad Corrigan.

  That sure was a long time ago. Back then, we all thought we’d have to leave Chesterton to find the men of our dreams. After all, my secret girlhood crush, Brad, had left town with his family, and none of us girls in The Bridal Circle ever heard from him again. Well, the road out of town sure didn’t lead me to any great happiness...until it brought me back to the family farm. Back home.

  And as for Brad Corrigan, I’d forgotten all about him until I’d found this box. Well, almost.

  Prologue

  Penny lay back in the beanbag chair and stared up at the flickering lights of the TV dancing on the ceiling. Her slumber party was even better than she had hoped. She rolled over on her side and looked at her three very best friends in all the world.

  “I think we should start a club,” she said. “Just the four of us.”

  “Cool.” Heather stopped taping a wedding picture of Princess Diana and Prince Charles into her wedding scrapbook. “What kind?”

  “How about a Boys Are Jerks club?” Karin suggested.

  “No,” Penny said. She didn’t think they were. “How about a—”

  “Hey, Penny, there’s somebody out in your yard,” Dorothy said from over by the sliding patio doors.

  “Really?” Karin cried indignantly. “I didn’t think any
body was supposed to be out there.”

  “You think it’s a burglar?” Heather asked, breathless suddenly. “Maybe we’d better call your dad, Penny.”

  But Penny was already scurrying with Karin over to the far side of the room where, next to Dorothy, they peered out at Penny’s moonlit yard. The backyard sloped down into the daylily acreage and beyond that were the hardwood seedlings, but off to the side, between the greenhouses and the truck barns, they could see a figure.

  “It’s just Brad Corrigan,” Penny said, though she felt her cheeks warm. Good thing they’d been working on their wedding scrapbooks by the light of the TV. Nobody could see her blush.

  “Oh, is that all?” Heather sounded relieved. “What’s he doing here?”

  He probably came out to watch Dorothy, but Penny couldn’t say the words aloud, as if saying them would make them absolutely undeniably true instead of just positively true. Still everybody—not just the ninth graders, but the whole high school—knew that Brad loved Dorothy even if they hadn’t started going out or anything. And Penny was happy for Dorothy, really she was. After all, Dorothy didn’t have her own home or family or nothing and kept getting moved from house to house by her social worker, so she deserved to have a handsome boyfriend. But why did it have to be Brad? Brad who was just the handsomest, smartest, most perfect boy around.

  “You know, I think he’s the smartest person in town,” Dorothy said. “Even smarter than Alex Waterstone.”

  “And lots cuter,” Heather said with a giggle.

  Penny just watched as Brad walked across the yard and disappeared into the shadows by the garage. Even if he stopped loving Dorothy, he would never start loving her. Dorothy was always Dorothy—beautiful and sweet. Penny was always the scarecrow—tall, skinny and without a brain.

  “What’s he doing here at this time of the night?” Karin asked. “Is he coming out to do your homework, Penny?”

  Penny’s stomach tightened up. Besides knowing that Brad loved Dorothy, everybody also knew that Penny’s dad hired Brad to help Penny with her homework. Which usually meant Brad did it, because he couldn’t even stand to talk to her long enough to explain it.

  “Penny doesn’t have any homework now,” Heather said. “Summer school’s over.”

  “Oh, right.” Karin frowned out at the night. “So, why’s he here?”

  Penny still didn’t say anything. Life wasn’t fair. Some of the kids at school laughed at Brad because he didn’t have much money or a dad, but Penny never ever made fun of him. And it wasn’t ’cause her mom was dead like his dad. It was because she thought he was nice. In fact, this past school year when his locker had been next to hers, she’d brought extra stuff in her lunch just so she could slip some into his. Cookies, fruit, an extra sandwich. His mom made him the most pitiful lunches, mostly because she had the most pitiful jobs and couldn’t afford more, but Penny loved helping him. Okay, so she thought one day he’d find out and love her back and it would turn out that he was rich and famous and only pretending to be poor to see who really loved him for himself. Of course then she’d have to be really smart and only pretending to be dumb because... because...

  She sighed. This is where her dream always fell apart. Well, she could take Brad loving Dorothy, but not him coming over here to swoon over her. Not at her own slumber party. That just wasn’t nice. She pulled open the screen door.

  “Where you going, Penny?”

  “Whatcha gonna do?”

  “Give him a piece of my mind.”

  Nobody made a crack about her not having any pieces to spare, like the boys at school would have, but she hurried outside as if the taunt just hadn’t caught up with her.

  She raced across the yard ahead of the others and down the driveway toward the bams, ignoring the sting of gravel on her bare feet. The burning in her eyes got worse and the world turned blurry, but she just kept running. The worst feeling throbbed in the pit of her stomach. Or was it in her throat? She couldn’t tell anymore.

  She pushed open the potting shed door and saw Brad by the workbench. Even dressed in an old T-shirt and jeans, he looked cuter than all the hunks on the “Dukes of Hazzard” put together, but she wasn’t going to let that stop her.

  “What are you doing here?” she demanded.

  Brad started, spinning around. Penny didn’t know what he was doing, but he sure looked guilty.

  “Are you sneaking around and spying on us?” she asked as the girls crowded around behind her.

  Whatever Penny’d thought she’d seen in his eyes at first was gone and he was back to his old know-it-all self. “Spying on you?” he snapped. “Why would I do something dumb like that?”

  Dumb? That stung.

  “I was just bringing over the birdhouses I made for your dad.” He waved at the box on the floor.

  Penny saw a few birdhouses on the workbench, and the box with more of them at his feet. She’d forgotten her father had asked Brad to put them together so Penny could paint them. A little misgiving quivered in her stomach. Maybe that was all he was doing here.

  “You’re delivering them now?” Karin said. “It’s almost the middle of the night.”

  “So?” he said and then looked nasty at them. “It’s not like I waste my time going to stupid parties like some people.”

  Stupid! Another sting. And just when she had almost been feeling sorry for him.

  “Penny’s party’s not stupid,” Heather said, slipping an arm around Penny’s shoulders.

  “Yeah, you’re just jealous ’cause we’re having fun,” Dorothy said.

  Penny tried to keep her anger going, but the birdhouses seemed to be staring back at her, in a lopsided way.

  She took a step forward. “What’s wrong with these things?” She picked one of the houses up and the roof wobbled. “The roofs aren’t fastened down.”

  “They’re not supposed to be.” Brad certainly didn’t have the same trouble maintaining his anger. He snatched the birdhouse from her. “They come off so you can paint the inside.”

  “Paint the inside?” she asked. “Why would I paint inside?”

  Brad didn’t say anything, just slamming the roof in place so it wouldn’t come off.

  She had annoyed him. She had no idea why, but she kind of liked the feeling. “Maybe instead of painting the inside, I should wallpaper it,” she suggested with a smile. “And put in carpeting, too.”

  “That’s stupid.”

  He called her stupid again! “Yeah, you’re right,” she snapped. “Tile would be better. So much easier for them to keep clean, you know.”

  “Where do you come up with all these dumb ideas?” he said. “Do you sit up all night or do they just come to you in a flash?”

  Angry or hurt? She didn’t know what she felt anymore—except that her stomach ached worse than when she’d had the flu last winter.

  “Get out of here,” she shouted at him. “Or I’m going to tell my father.”

  “I don’t care who you tell.” Brad said. “I’m not going to be here anymore. I’m blowing this stupid hick town. My mother and I are leaving tomorrow morning for California. There’s going to be nobody left here but you stupid jerks.”

  He pushed past her, past them all, and left the shed, the door banging hard against the frame, then swinging back open on the night. Penny was scared, a deep-down-into-your-very-soul kind of scared and she rushed out after him. Afraid he was leaving and afraid that he wasn’t. How could she ever look at him again? But how could she live if he was gone?

  “You be careful of Penny’s stuff,” Karin was shouting after Brad as he trudged through the shadows up ahead. “If this door is broken, we’re calling the police.”

  He turned for a final shot. “I’m going to come back one day and make you all really sorry.”

  Penny’s heart was breaking into a million pieces and none of her dreams would ever come true, but she couldn’t let him know that. “You’ll be the sorry one,” Penny shouted even louder. “You ever come around here
again and I’ll punch your lights out.”

  She could hear his steps on the gravel as he ran, then nothing. Just a dog barking in the distance and the crickets chirping their laughter. How could she feel so mad and hurt and sad at the same time? She wouldn’t cry over him, though. Not now, not ever.

  “What a dope,” Dorothy muttered.

  “A real jerk,” Karin agreed.

  “I kind of hope he does come back someday,” Penny said as she hurried up the slope toward the house.

  “You want to punch his lights out?” Heather sounded surprised and a little worried.

  “No.” Penny turned to face them, walking backward up the hill. “Because we’re all going to be married and happy and not have any time to even talk to him.”

  Dorothy danced up to her side. “Right. Heather’s going to run off and join the circus and marry a lion tamer.”

  Heather giggled. “And Dorothy’ll go someplace really exciting and marry a prince and live in a big palace.”

  “Karin’s going to be rich and famous,” Penny said. “And marry somebody even richer.”

  “And what about you, Penny?” Karin asked. “Where are you going to go?”

  Penny looked for a long moment over at the shadows where Brad had disappeared. He was long gone, she knew, but the ache in her heart was still there. She slowly turned her back on that part of the yard and smiled at her friends.

  “Me? I’m going to go to college and become really smart and I’m not going to marry until some guy who knows ten different languages falls in love with me.”

  Dorothy laughed as she tucked her arm into Penny’s. “Guess we’re all going to show Brad Corrigan.”